City Blog

What is self talk? Something we all do. You are telling yourself things all the time, and your unconscious mind is listening without arguing. What you tell yourself affects the quality of your life, and your abilities as well. Don’t you think you should pay more attention to what that internal dialog is about?

Which are you primarily using, positive self-talk or negative self-talk? Look at the example below of some of the things that positive and negative people say. Notice the difference, because when you do, you’ll start to understand how “mere words” can affect your life.

Examples Of Negative Self Talk

Negative self talk often involves explaining bad things by internalizing them (“There I go again.”). It treats bad things as permanent (“It’s always the same.”). It generalizes (“Work sucks.”). When explaining good things, negative people often externalize them (“That was just lucky.”). They consider them temporary (“That went well THIS TIME.”). They see them only in a specific context (“Well at least that part went right.”). Some more examples of negative self talk:

“I always screw up when I meet someone new.”

“This is fun for now.”

“This place is great, not like mine.”

“Well, at least THAT meeting went okay, I guess.”

“I picked the wrong lane like I always do.”

“This nice weather can’t last.”

Examples Of Positive Self Talk

Positive self-talk explains bad things by externalizing them (“The weather stopped the picnic.”). It considers them temporary (“Those were a few tough hours.”). It sees them as isolated (“Well, THAT part didn’t work out, but…”). When positive people explain good things, they internalize them (“My life is going great!”). They consider them as more or less permanent changes (“Now I’ve got the hang of this.”). They generalize from them (“This job is really working out well.”). Some more examples of positive self-talk:

“I did well on that test.”

“I like the way things are going at work.”

“This could be a great business to be in.”

“That problem was just due to technical problems.”

“It was rough, but only for an hour or two.”

“It rained, but the trip was fun.”

You don’t have to take my word that your self talk makes a difference. If you are just willing to watch, you will see the evidence for yourself. Explain things to yourself in a positive constructive way, and you’ll see a difference in your attitude today. Make positive self talk a habit and you’ll see a difference in your life.

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Do you want to get lucky? Actually, there are many very specific techniques for generating luck in your life, many based on important research that has been done in the last twenty years. One of the simplest ways to get lucky is to just start looking for good luck.

You have probably noticed that if you start looking to buy a car of a certain type, they are suddenly all over. They were there before, but now you are seeing them, because you are looking. More specifically, it is due to your reticular cortex. This small organ in the brain directs incoming stimulus to your conscious or unconscious mind. If you are looking for a type of car, it helps you out by letting you be more consciously aware of those cars.

This “gatekeeper” of the mind works in any area you choose. If you start looking for luck, it will help you find it. It helps you “tune into” opportunity once you have decided that this is important. The simplest way to activate this is to start counting the ways you are already lucky. Soon you’ll have even more luck.

Why Not Get Lucky Today?

There are those who will tell you that God or the universe brings luck into your life once there’s gratitude in your heart. This actually describes the process pretty well, but here is a less spiritual explanation: When you acknowledge the luck you have, and you start looking for more, you create a certain frame of mind – one that helps you take advantage of opportunities you might otherwise not recognize. You are instructing your reticular cortex to let information about potential opportunities rise to a conscious level.

For example, suppose a friend mentions that a furniture store is going out of business. Normally, you might think nothing of it. But because you have been counting your blessings and looking for more examples of your good luck, your mind is thinking “Hmm, how could this be an opportunity?” Then it occurs to you that the company you work for has been considering getting a several new desks, and that they are on sale for 60% off at this store. You tell your boss. The company saves hundreds of dollars, the boss is impressed by how you took the initiative, and he gives you a raise. You get lucky.

Noticing how lucky you are, even in small ways, makes the possibility of good luck more real to you. This gets you watching, and the watching gets you thinking, “How is this lucky for me? Can I do something beneficial with this situation? You’ll notice is that you feel better if you try this, and you’ll see results. Gratitude is good for you, and it won’t be your imagination when you start to get lucky.

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Anger is an inevitable part of everyone’s life. It isn’t an abnormal state of mind by any means. In fact, it’s a perfectly healthy and normal reaction to certain situations that you find disagreeable.

But anger isn’t a comfortable emotion. As soon as your temper flares, your whole body feels the effects. If you don’t get it under control right away, the problem will quickly get worse. If this continues, both your physical and mental health will suffer.

Frequently, people become angry when they’ve been emotionally hurt. Anger encourages you to strike back and hurt other people in turn. It becomes a defense mechanism to try to protect yourself from further harm. In the end, though, you’ll do more harm if you continually act out on your angry feelings.

However, your feelings of anger don’t have to be worrisome for you. The key is in learning how to manage your feelings. Generally, people figure it out on their own during their lifetimes. But others seem to have an ongoing problem with anger management. But luckily, there are all sorts of tips and tricks to help you deal with your anger issues.

Relaxation techniques can be helpful in calming the areas of your central nervous system that lead to the feelings of anger. There are several means by which you can achieve this. For anger management help over the long term, mindfulness exercises such as yoga and meditation are invaluable for teaching you how to relax your mind.

Oftentimes, though, fast acting relaxation techniques are called for. You’ll find them especially valuable in the midst of a temper tantrum. Will yourself to take a few deep breaths, thereby expanding your diaphragm and allowing you to take in more oxygen. Another method to try is to make an attempt to delay your reaction. It’s actually truly effective to count to ten. Either of these methods will help you calm down enough to think more objectively about the circumstances.

Another effective approach to anger management is through the use of cognitive techniques. The idea is to rethink your typical responses to stressful situations. What most of these anger management tips accomplish is to help you learn to replace your angry outbursts with more appropriate actions.

The best approach to anger management issues involves facing up to your emotions and learning to respond more appropriately. This will help immensely in eradicating bad responses. It will also help in many areas of your life where control is important. Ultimately, you’ll experience improved health, both physical and mental, as you learn to exercise your new skills.

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